Ugly monster

Those few times i look into the mirror,
would you like to know what i see?
Shush let me tell you what i think
Because i know you will never agree

We both know im hurting, hurting so bad
i so badly want to let everything go and give up
Because we both see the monster, inside me
Thats telling everyone and everything to shut up
Shut up it says
as it clenches its fists
it swings out with its temper
and holds onto your wrists

See, times like this is why i want to be alone,
Where everything is lost and nowwhere to be found
i get lost amongst the voices, voices inside the darkness 
that try to bring me down to the ground

see my mind is like a path, a path to follow
yet without the clear directions of a map
those who try and enter within its maze
end up falling to my angers wrath

You tell me that you can see, that im afraid,
of letting every thought go free
Because confiding in people
has broken you more than me

But problem is my love, that deep down,
i know i will never want to
Maybe something happened, that i cant speak of
something that i refuse to let go off.

You see this is how close i finally am
to finally breaking down on the outside
Because im just so sick of people assuming
That i am a bad guy

A bad guy they said
Who has a temper of an beast
breaks things without hesitation
upon dead memories it feasts

you say that you understand
everything im going through
you try to provide me an unconditional love
so i can trust you

I see myself as an ugly monster
with red eyes and claws
i try to keep you away from me
hide all my flaws

but you keep coming back my love
to break down these walls
this ugly monster hides away from you
for it fears you abandoning us all

this monster is attached to you
that you gently hold on to
im so afraid at this point of myself
to again end up hurting you

so now let me ask you again
do you know what i see?
when i look into the mirror
i see me

im begging you to understand
to keep being here while i start to see
that i can be better, i am trying
just trust in me.