Beautiful

Often times when I look at her, she takes my breath away . Maybe it was the way she keeps showing me, reminding me, just how beautiful she is. With pale skin, and full lower lips , more so than often I find myself glancing down , wanting to kiss her softy , taste her, feel those lips against mine. And more often than not, she knows what im thinking,  and reaches up on her tip toes to kiss me. Or maybe it was the warmth of her eyes that makes me unable to look away whenever I stared at her. They were a warm brown, full of emotions and thoughts , expressing her without words. 

And often times , I stared at her body.  Maybe it was the luscious breasts i loved to trace and cup over , the way they'd fit in my hands and the way shed watch what I was doing with hooded eyes. Or maybe it was the curves of her body , when I'd quietly slip a hand around her waist and pull her to me when we were in public , rest my hands against her stomach, claiming her as my girl in my own way . She very well knew just how much i loved her backside as well, for I perhaps stare at her butt like a proud woman, when shes walking in front of me. It doesn't matter what she's wearing , she manages to make me appreciate her body ,to a level where I've memorized the feel of her everywhere, and yet I lust for her all the damn time .

Never have i felt such a pull to anyone but her . Never have i felt the need to be possessive , until she came into my life and made me realize I wouldn't want to lose her . To anyone or anything.

And if you're reading this.  I love you.  I love you out of the millions of people in this world. I love you despite you getting jealous over my best friends at rare times.

And i love you because im yours and yours only.

-3am

Scents

It was almost aphrodisiac-like, the way we stayed looking at each other , cupping each other's faces and or linking fingers together, as we regained our breaths back after the sex . Perhaps the most aphrodisiac-like fact was how our scents mingled and crossed each other , the way i could still taste her on the roof of my mouth and the way my lips still tingled with pure love. Or maybe it was the way she looked at me like I was the best thing she'd ever seen. The best person shed ever been with. 

She looked at me like I was beautiful.

And at moments like that where we both stayed and heaved and shared each other's breaths and scents , I swear I feel beautiful.  And i swear I feel complete .

And hours later when im home in bed , all I can think of is her.  She surrounds me with her smell.  This morning I woke up and i thought she was there for a second because I still smelt her on my body . And when my heart lurched and a weight dropped to my stomach , realizing my hopes were just a mere dream, I still smiled . Because i loved her either way. And one day.

God one day itll happen.  Where i wake up next to her after a bad dream and her arms will immediately go around me, soothing me, pulling me back into her chest , holding Me even after I fall asleep. Or maybe it's the way I'll wake up to her tender kisses , the way she'd slowly press her lips all over my face and neck,  then trace her way back to my lips, bringing forth a smile

I'll make sure it happens . Because i cant imagine it with anyone but her god.

Shes the one

-3am

Drunk love

I stumbled into the bathroom, taking care not to slip on the tiled floor as i turned and watched for her. She had just finished waving goodbye to her guests , and was closing the door , with no idea how i was looming behind her. "Emily!"  I whispered harshly , when she turned around and didnt even glance at the bathroom i was in. With a startled glance , she locked eyes.

We both knew why I was there , hiding in in the darkness watching her . With 2 giant steps she threw her arms around me just as I pulled her into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

She was in my arms . Finally .
It felt like something had shifted . The tense , nervous atmosphere,  the eggshells we both had been walking on, to ensure her family didnt find out about us, had disappeared. 

And we both tilted our heads and kissed.  I could taste her . I could taste the slight scotch on her breath just as same i was sure she could taste the beer.  I held her so tightly i wondered briefly if she could breath . But I didn't care. I was tipsy,  I was emotional , and I fucking missed her.

The hardest part was perhaps ignoring her, pretending we were just friends via a mutual friend . When in reality she was more .

She was my girlfriend .
My partner .
The love of my life .

"Are you okay ?" She whispered , cupping my face . I shook my head, trying not to cry. "No..I miss you. Its so hard emily . It's so fucking hard". Her own face contorted at my pain and she held back her tears as she buried her fa c e against my neck . "I know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"

And we held each other that way. Both of us tucked away at the crooks of each other's neck, holding each other up , while the rest of the party knew nothing of the 2 girls hiding in the bathroom just for a simple hug.

-3am

Dont pull on the noose, my halo's slipping down