An ending

I do not know how endings come about unfiltered and unhindered

The end comes almost painstakingly obvious, does it not ?

How do we not see through the cracks where our love no longer lingers but now falls?

How do you no longer see me struggling to hold on?

No, endings like our stories don't come out of nowhere 

It seeps In through the lingering stares of realising you were not the one 

It comes in with the shortened touches of pulling our energy back 

It comes in when our lips no longer seal the hurt created through the distance 

I feel strongly , perhaps too much, for I have so much love in me

That when I can no longer heal the rifts widening between us

I can only cry and let you go 

And so I do now 

Death

I dreamt I was dying 

It wasn't painful , long or chaotic. 

It was peaceful and accepting

I laid there surrounded by my loved ones, as they watched me close my eyes in bliss.

 It was odd to be in a body and feel my limbs go limp

My breathing slowed down

The sounds dimmed

And I felt myself go into a space of non existence

 I repeated this cycle three times

The third time I refused to pass, but kept opening my eyes , trying to verbalise my thoughts . I did not want to pass this time. I had so much to talk about. So much to say. So much to do. As I spoke, I felt my spirit being pulled into this physical body. And I woke up drifting between the waking dreams and this physical realm. And I laid in silence , because the peace of laying with nothing in my mind but acceptance

Felt alot like dying. And I realised I wasn't afraid of dying anymore. Because I know I have done all that's needed , and that I would be reborn again and again, and this cycle would spin on its axis until I can learn no more. Very well. Death means nothing if my existence cannot be dimmed. No. I'm too busy for death .

flaws and doubts

No I do not regret the non commitment 

For I doubt 

And to doubt means I see flaws

And to see the flaws tells me I see through the sugar coated excellence we both have been working on weaving around the possibility of us 

But there can be no us when the flaws are doubts and the doubts are cemented on what ifs and known possibilities. 

The most frustrating part of all this is that there is no doubt I would fall in love with you and stay . I would move the world , albeit slowly, but surely, for you. I would dedicate an entirety of my life, sing flowers out of ashes and create words that don't exist, just to find ways to tell you I'm yours and I love you. 

And yet the worst part is I doubt you. I doubt you could love me , I doubt you could stay. I highly doubt you could have space for me in your busy life, because I take up alot of space. I want you , for the entirety of you. I want you to have your life but I also want you to give me your soul . No. Share your soul with me. Let me see you in ways no one has. Let me hold you tender and at home. Let me kiss your wounds and stroke your ego. Let me just be nothing but love. But you cannot do that. Can you ?

Forbidden love

" I only ask you grant me one wish before you kill me". 

"What is this wish?"

" When you mount my head on a pike , place a flower between my lips and know that I forgive you". 

"You speak of your death as if it is imminent"

Zachariel smiled , before grabbing the wine she had been swirling for the past few minutes, as they both turned to look at the kingdom falling around them.

Drinking the wine in one gulp, he sighed and closed his eyes. "Tell me, is it not?" 

A love that outlasted empires

How calm must the waters be

For your mind to be ever so silent 

Upon the approaching storm of the east 

Your words are nothing but eloquent

The winds stir the scent of your arousal

Damp leaves leave a path of sorrow in it's wake 

The whispers of shaking branches tremble in your ardour 

Oh a love so ardent 

For eons could not wipe it's imprint off sand

As our bones now dance on graves 

Gold, diamonds and sapphires line the way 

To where I shall forever wait 

-a love that outlasted empires

libidinous

I am a selfish lover 

A sensualist 

Hedonist

Unbridled libertine of a woman 

And yet how can a libidinous woman 

Chase after another 

Who has no licentious behavior ?

- I am jealous I want you more than him

selfish

The sea-spray does little to hide the salt trails that have carved themselves so intricately upon your delicate features 

Tell me, how do I love you , broken soul ?

-to be unloved

blinded

My tongue knows no words but the thrums of your name 

Even the wind and the trees acknowledge this mighty presence you have left as an imprint

On my oh-so-soft heart 

How did the seasons change in its entirety 

To have you blind me so

That now I see no one but you ?

- I am smitten