Survival

 I see all these words

That describe loneliness to the tee

An empty home and cold bedsheets

so beautiful yet so lonely

These words fail to form what I want to scream however

I want to tell you I am okay I promise

I am simply a sad person with a lost soul

Or perhaps just a broken being with a happy soul

I love life, I could cry cherry blossoms from my love

and sing oceans of joy inbetween shores

yet tell me why i am a person

who is so burdened by grief

That love escapes when I look to myself

love ceases to exist as i turn to myself

The truth is, I learned to survive in this society

Dependent upon how I gave all of me

Therefore once I stop giving

I fear I shall cease to exist

And therein lies the root of my problem

My crippling fear of simply not to be

To give this unconditional love until I can no longer

To then realise I cease to exist as I am

I am no one if I did not give you all of me

Ribcage

 I believed my mother was the most beautiful thing in the room

when I first opened my eyes to see the halo of her in my vision

and as I grew older

Fascinated at the tone of her voice

the way her voice lulled me to sleep and woke me from the darkness

I wondered when I too would match her tones

But as I grew older her voice no longer brought me the arduous joy

It instead made me tremble and flee

For her voice no longer lulled me to sleep 

but it roused the demons within

Her words grew thorns of their own

and embedded themselves within my skin

amongst all the rose petals that now withered within the darkness

her words proved my existence was a sin

I know not why this happened

how a person so full of wrath reared from love

I just wish I could tell the child under the blows of a rage-drunk mother

that it was not her fault to choose herself above her