To only sew me back together different
I went down on my knees
And prayed for the first time
I prayed to the existence of God
Or perhaps, the non existence of God
For I know not where God stands and watches
While his disciples fall further from grace
I cannot explain in words to God
The feeling of helplessness I hold inside
Rumi once stated God needs to hear no words
But with heart he will always love you dear
I know not how God does this
To see into our hearts
To find atoms of love we forget about
What is God?
God is the truth we all fear deep down
the truth of our creation, our existence
God is the reason, to give us purpose
Yet why is it we fall astray of the divine ?
How do we love God when we feel unloved ?
How do I tell you, god, how I feel?
Can you feel the restlessness in me?
The ocean of energy bound by will?
Can you feel me destroy my ego
and offer it to you with broken fingers
Did you plan for me to turn out the way I am?
Are you happy with me God?
Why is it you are like a parent
Yet you are also the child and the friend
The teacher and the preacher
the lover and the ex
Why is it that my relationship with you
Blooms like the lily and dissipates like snow
Why is it that I can give you all of me
And still feel it is not enough
Why is it the world has given me everything
Yet I do not feel enough
God I am a child who is struggling to love
To love and be loved because I fear
I fear the tender little thing in my chest
That you made with the best intentions
I fear this heart you made for me
The heart you live in to remind me
Is cold, and continues to grow colder
the world disappoints me God
I disappoint myself
You ask me to love others with all of me
The problem is God
I have
Now who will love all of me like you do?
