Overprotective Nature

Growing up in a conservative household, it was almost drilled into me to be protective over my possessions, my things. But this protectiveness soon took a turn for the worst for everything that could harm something or someone i love, i would become the worst monster instead of being the protector. i would do anything possible to keep them out of harms way, almost like a possessive overly attatched girlfriend.

and this has ruined a couple of friendships.

its in my nature to be fiercely protective over the things and people i love. i will stand in the harmful others way to make sure the loved one would escape. and i am reluctant to share or give things that are mine and mine only, for i get too attatched to it. Say an article of clothing, or that piece of paper. i get reluctant to throw these away because i feel safe when theyre in my eyesight.

Same with friends and family.
i am only a fair bit protective over my family for they always keep in touch either way.

But when it comes to friends, i trust no one around me when im with them. Cue the reason why i am a firebreathing monster when the opposite gender or someone i dont trust/dislike comes near them.

its almost second nature, an instinct to step in between just in case that friend will be harmed.

its like im your personal body guard you cant get rid off, unless you tell me to go away forever. for i go and never look back.

but people dislike this protectiveness
they dislike the fact that im preventing them from possibly hanging out with others, having fun, or being reckless.

because im just so safe, so cautious and wary, and so fucking wary i make sure to watch over them like a hawk.


and i try
i try so hard to reel in this nature, for as a taurus, not only does this come naturally, but also because of how i grew up in my family

and i feel like its destroying everything around me


and i dont know how to control this feeling of worrying and protecting. i wouldnt be able to stand it if i wasnt able to protect someone i love because i decided to be completely free and not watch over them and let them do whatever they want with no restrictions.


maybe its because im living life with so many restrictions

am i becoming a restriction for them?



- 3A.M