Suffocate

I feel like im making an enemy of myself, wrapping myself in a shroud of darkness to keep the light away. I suffocate my breathing from all air and close my eyes against any light because im too afraid of those around me.
i feel like im suffocating you because i care too much
but its worse when you cant breathe during those periods where youre huddled at the corner of your room fighting with the demons of your mind, preying upon you like sharks in the ocean. The voices never lessen, never diminish, rather grow in number and size. Its almost intimidating how much i loathe going deep inside my mind, for i fall upon waters of thoughts ill end up drowning in.
i feel suffocated whenever i have to start and end a phone call with the parents because the first and last thing they talk about is my studies. not about how happy i am or if im okay.
i feel suffocated by these emotions and thoughts i seem to possess and cant get rid off because they strengthen their hold on my mind everyday and shake me to my very core.
theyre poisonous thoughts that run through my head that makes me curl up and never see the sun again like before


but sometimes 
.
i hate.. i hate the way i feel like im drowning when everyone else around me is breathing perfectly fine. Theres a wall between them and i, making it so silent that my own screams are the only physical sound. No one can fix me, yet no one can help me escape from the chains of my mind, And i fear for those who climb my walls to join me for i would drive them insane. I cant help but let the walls become thicker, thicker than ever, throwing me deeper into the water suffocating my very being, drowning in my own screams.

-3A.M