I think the weirdest feeling in the world is when you start bonding to an old friend you havent seen for ages, let alone talk. And her name as i affectionately nicknamed her 6 years ago, is Anjai. skinny, tall, with a bubble of a personality, i survived my secondary year of high school with her by my side. sure there were others as well, but recently the more we talk, the closer i feel. I feel like were more open now, its as if, growing up really matured us in a way, yet we still have childish jokes being shared.
as a person i believe i am attention-demanding. perhaps thats why i probably never had friends that stuck around for long because though as passive as i am i need attention.
its almost like how a baby needs milk, as growing up, i didnt get the attention i desired from family, therefore friends were the only choice.
this is my ultimate downfall as well. this demand for attention really breaks everything down for me, possibly even the best of friendships i made. and for some reason, im at a point where im numb
i dont know what to do
and angie.. well. shes amazing
its just .. amazing how two people connect from so far by memories made years ago. i know her life, she knows mine. i trust her openly, she tells me everything.
and maybe i dont always need someone constantly.
thats my biggest downfall
being dependent on someone
because the truth is
ive always been independent
and i will remain this way
refusing help because of my pride
and being a stubborn mule
and to anjai
thanks for coming back in my life
-3am
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