I cant sleep my love

Here was the problem. i missed you. i missed you so much that i was becoming indefinitely attached to you. you knew it but you never told me so until you started going on these trips to make yourself feel better. you were always that type of person. when things got stressful and hard you would go somewhere to regorup your thoughts and find your inner you. i hated it when you were gone. i hated it when you would go without me and id be left behind.

i cant sleep my love, the hours pass me by
for my mind overworks itself all over again
and i know if you were here you'd scold me like a mother
and tell me words to get rid of this pain

I cant sleep my love, the hours have stopped running
i no longer know whether im awake or dreaming
as i am curled up on my couch, too tired to move
for my heads are filled with thoughts of you leaving

I told a friend the other day about my invention
about how id love to make a suicide pill
she told me to stop thinking of death so much
i guess no one will understand me like you ever will

i want to make this pill as an option

why do we prevent people from death

why is it so terrifying to have the reason not to live

and pass away without a fret

I cant sleep my love, the hours erase me

as i nurse my 9th cup of coffee in my hand

i keep thinking, dreaming, hallucinating

of things people never hear in this land

my heart is driving me crazy my love

i have stopped taking my pills

i throw up more than i get food in

and blood is making its presence within

i cant do this without support my love

but my therapist doesnt understand

so i stopped going to my sessions

for being alone feels like a better plan

im afraid to see you when you come back

to see the shell i have become

for now i have honestly given up completely

and i was living just for you

i know you will leave soon

and it will be time for me to grow up

you always urged me to stand on my feet

but i did so only with your hands

i cant sleep my love, i miss you so

i miss you everyday

but ill keep quiet, i know you hate it

after all, im probably a nuisance everyday