When him and i were together, we were sailing on a boat on such smooth waters, so calm that we rocked on through the sea. Maybe this was our downfall as well. When unexpectedly the sea changed its mood and churned its anger to our boat, we both fell overboard, and the sea took him under. I fought back, because i had a lifeline pulling me up. But Tenshi had tried fighting back as well. He was always the fighter. But in the end the sea won. And it became calm again. After fighting the waters and surviving, the calm unnerved me. It pissed me off. And so i tried going under myself. I wanted to drown with all my thoughts and pain but the sea ignored my pleas. It kept my head above water no matter how hard i tried to stop breathing and just drown. Several life boats passed and tried saving me but i swam away, unwilling to be saved. Whilst i was swimming upon the empty ocean i tried to dive so many times to find Tenshis body. But i never did. There were sharks at times, they swam around me, made me feel irreplaceable fear but they never killed me. Maybe they could feel i wasnt going to put up a fight against their strength, their harsh bites, so they swam off to find a better prey. Until Romamov came along in his grand boat, standing on the prow and facing the wind headstrong. I noticed how he churned the waves as he rode through, and when he spotted me he immediately jumped off and swam towards me, trying to get me out. The sea didnt like it. It changed from calm to a storm, and tried pushing Romanov away, but didnt kill him, rather it churned against me, trying to push me away. It didnt work because Romanov himself was a storm. He simply swam through and reached me, grabbing hold of my hand. That was a shock to my system. No one had had physical contact for years after Tenshi's death, and it affected the mood of the sea as well. Therefore the sea for the first time in years listened to my thoughts and became stronger, more violent, agitated. It hit Romanov wave after wave, but he never budged. Giving in, i let him pull me through the violent waters, and started swimming along, because for the first time he made me feel something else rather than despair. He gave me hope, the most dangerous of all feelings. Because hope always leads to something more, something greater, and can lead to expectations unwanted. But i allowed it.

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-3am