Lonely nights

I quietly lifted the covers and slipped in, pausing, as the coldness of the sheets hit my bones.

They weren't warm today. 

Settling myself in,  I turned to look towards my left , where your pillow laid untouched and the covers straightened , indicated no one had touched that side in awhile.

It's been a while since we've slept together.

I slowly reached my hand out and stroked the pillow,  the very same pillow your hair would be splayed out upon,  the very same pillow you seemed to drool without fail every morning. 

The pillow was too clean. Too cold.

I trailed my hands downwards, slipping it under the covers.  It was a warm night but I was freezing. I couldn't sleep without the comforting warmth that used to be around me.

Slowly i pulled your pillow to my chest.

A whiff of your scent hit my senses. The deep, musky yet spicy aroma ive yet to smell on anyone.

A deep sigh escaped me. Even when you were gone you managed to calm me down.

Even when you were gone, ghosts of you lingered around the house , lingered in bed.

Especially the feel of your arms that would curl itself around me, or the way you'd tuck your head to my chest. You were larger, marginally so, and with your legs entangling with mine , I'd gotten used to being wrapped up in all of you .

And maybe I missed the little sleepy smile youd give me when I'd tell you i love you.

Or the way your arms would tighten themselves around my waist as you grumbled back incoherent words.

But I didn't realize how painful it was to lie in a bed that wasn't warm or not to be held.

I missed you .

And i wish you were here.

Writing from anther pov besides my own

-3am