i was sitting here, sighing at the screen, wondering what to do and where to move. my bed was no longer comfortable. my exam notes were spread haphazardly around the bedroom floor when i threw my notebook across the room. i couldnt study. i could not decipher the equations, the maths, the calculations. no. inside my mind was a labyrinth of words. i had this constant story at the back of my mind waiting to be let out, to be said out loud, to be written. but i couldnt . it was like the words were behind a locked door and i could only glimpse the images through a window. everyday i get an idea to write a chapter, another story. Characters develop in my mind, their stories, their lives. everything . but choosing to study science seems to lock these words up in such a way now im lost

im actually restless
i want to do something
im so tired
but i dont want to sleep
i feel like im going crazy because all i want to do is go sit at the end of a pier in a beach and write away. i just want to write

is that wrong?
is it wrong if i just want to write my whole life?


-3am