I have stuttered my whole life, ever since i was little. So i was told to read out loud, read every day, until the stutter would go away. So i did. I demolished countless poetries, read through several thousands of books ever since i turned 5, and yet even today, i stutter at words. It annoys me, frustrates me to no end, because i want to be normal too. I pretend not to notice someone expression when i stutter over words and i have to pause and try again. I pretend not to notice stares when im at the food counter trying to order food. Its the worst when the feeling of panic sets in, as the imaginary shadows all around me enclose in on me, laughing and pointing fingers at this girl who cant even speak properly. Even now i read 1 book a day, atleast 1 book, and there are words inside me, so many so i wish i could shout them out. I wish i could scream out every word and not worry about how im unable to pronounce them or worry about the lisp i have over vowels.

I worry more than i speak




-3am